Richard Knight is a Children's Services Manager for the Early Years Alliance with a variety of experience working in Early Years education over the last 18 years. Richard manages Early Years settings, writes and delivers training, and he has supported many providers to meet the requirements of the EYFS so that they are compliant and inspection-ready. Through his work he has the opportunity to be hands-on and collaborate with educators, children, and families, so he understands the challenges that the sector faces, and he is passionate about making a difference. Richard has firsthand experience of supporting children's behaviour, working in nurseries, preschools, stay-and-play groups, out-of-school clubs, and creches over the years.
Richard's key point is that we need to reframe children's behaviour as a form of communication and development, rather than defaulting to a purely negative interpretation. Richard reminds us that "behaviour" encompasses everything children do, and that labelling it as generally "getting worse" overlooks how the world around children has changed rather than the children themselves.
"Behaviour is so much broader than just the challenges that we might see. Behaviour is everything that children do all the time. It's communication."
Richard Knight, Children's Services Manager, Early years Alliance
As educators, we must focus on building trust. Trust between the child, the key person, and the family must come before any attempt to correct or support children with behaviour that challenges us.
"I think I enjoy seeing consistency applied, language around behaviour, being more positive, being more balanced in terms of supporting, not just "managing". Understanding that it's a relational approach and the relationship with the family, with the child, comes first. Once we have that triangle of trust between the child, the key person, which is the setting, and the parent or family member, then we can do a much more appropriate job of supporting behaviour and co-regulating."
Richard Knight, Children's Services Manager, Early years Alliance
In the Early Years, we must be aware of how unconscious bias can affect how we support children, especially when it comes to behaviour. We need honestly reflect on how we respond to the children in our care. For example. young Black boys may be labelled as "aggressive" for behaviour that is simply deemed as "excitable" in others. Ongoing reflection, CPD, and active bystander responsibility are essential safeguards.
"It comes down to CPD and it does come down to a safeguarding. As a DSL, as a manager, as an educator, is everybody in the team understanding of the fact that unconscious bias is something we all have and will have? Are we reflective on that? Are we understanding enough about that think, 'Am I applying the same behaviour and strategies to this child as I am to this child over here?' We need to be in a place of constant evaluation, reflection. Looking at the behaviour policy, thinking about those best practice techniques, and thinking honestly, reflecting honestly as a team and an individual."
Richard Knight, Children's Services Manager, Early years Alliance
In the Early Years, educators and parents often place unrealistic expectations on young children, such as sharing, saying sorry, or showing empathy, before these skills are developmentally achievable.
"Sharing is an obvious example," explains Richard, "We expect children straight away to share, and share everything. It belongs to nursery; it's not yours, it's nursery's, and we must share it. That's very confusing because children then are thinking, 'Well, what else do I share?' They don't share their shoes, their coats, their lunchboxes, and, if something belongs to them, they might not want to share it. And it's a life skill because me (as a grown-up), I don't consider myself to be a selfish person. I think I am quite giving but there are certain things I won't share either. We all have our own relationship with that skill."
Understanding typical development for each age group was identified as essential to responding proportionately.
"I've never met a 2-year-old yet that actually is sorry for what they might do, because they're just not. They haven't got that sophistication in their thinking yet."
Richard Knight, Children's Services Manager, Early years Alliance
Richard takes time to discuss other age-appropriate behaviour that can still be challenging for educators to navigate, like young children exploring their own bodies. Educators need to distinguish between natural curiosity about bodies and behaviour that could indicate a safeguarding issue. We need context about the child and family circumstances to determine if behaviour might be concerning, particularly if child protection services are involved or there are prior concerns.
Richard stresses the importance of considering unique family circumstances when evaluating behaviour, making informed judgments based on knowing the child and family well, while neither jumping to conclusions nor ignoring potential concerns.
Richard acknowledges that balancing meeting children's needs while respecting parents' wishes can be challenging, where there is a disagreement. Settings should communicate about why policies exist and provide examples of successful outcomes. Richard stresses the importance of understanding family members' lived experiences and parenting backgrounds, explaining that parents who experienced either laissez-faire or authoritarian parenting may have different expectations, requiring educators to meet them halfway and explain the balanced approach settings aim for.
Richard and I discussed the dynamic that can occur where one child repeatedly receives the most adult attention for challenging behaviour, leading peers to assign blame to that child by default, even in their absence. Richard explained that the better we understand the function of behaviour (to obtain something or to avoid something), the more we can work on reshaping responses and preventing a child from developing a negative reputation.
Richard suggests visibly and loudly celebrating the child's wins as a practical strategy to rebalance the attention a child receives and disrupt the scapegoat cycle.
"This 'kind hands' thing. I understand it, I get where it comes from, but I think actually, I don't know what it means to children that are really young. I think it's just something that we say to promote kindness, which is really important, but I think we can teach it differently and much more effectively for the youngest children."
Richard Knight, Children's Services Manager, Early years Alliance
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